Sunday, February 21, 2016

Life With a Predator

I have scratches on my hands and arms. I live with a predator. 
Sexy Beast. "Who, me? Eat you? Nooooo"
He's awfully cute and even occasionally cuddly, but I hold no illusions about our relationship. He's a stalker and a pouncer. I sometimes have scratches on my ankles. Some call them "love bites." I call them "tastes." 

I read somewhere that there is an African aphorism, "only food runs." Stand still and you're less likely to be stalked and pounced. Dinner is a game best played in pursuit. Dinner is a game to be played slowly, painfully, relentlessly to the death.

Who thought it was a good idea to make "pets" (I use the term loosely) of these fanged and clawed creatures of blood lust? What is wrong with me that I love them so much? What kind of death wish is this? 

I try to set down rules for our co-habitation. The most repeated, and ignored, rule is the "no eating" rule. As I discover some portion of my hand or arm in his fanged jaws, I remind him, "No eating! Remember? No! Eating!" 

I figure I must be delicious. I try to take it as a compliment. 
The head butt. Sign of affection or attempt to stun the prey?

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Signage Syntax


Do not buses only enter?
No, buses do not only enter.
Buses also exit.
Other buses could not enter if buses only entered.